"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Tuesday Tip: Controlling your Angle when they become Demons…



            So if you saw my post about the weekend update you would have heard my little angel lost her halo…  Come Sunday she was well to say indepentdant would be a polite way.  I know at her age she just learning what they can do and sometimes get a way with, it sometimes drives me crazy.  Although Quinn is a great kid, everyone can lash out here and there.  She was just mainly not listning, or talking back, she wouldn’t go down easily but that’s why it’s a learning experience. 

            First when dealing with a child that is upset know they could be tired and to check what time it is and try to get them down for a nap or bed.  Other tips I’ve learned and heard about are as follows. 

1)    Always keep you’re cool, you are allowed to be stern and even raise your voice but don’t let them see or know you are just really upset or angry.

2)    Use time outs and put them in their room.  Keep them there till they cool down and stop screaming.  After a while they will, tell them they will be up there until they are done being upset.  Make sure they don’t lots of toys in their room, you don’t want them to have access to all their stuff.

3)    Keep going up every couple minutes to just listen, go in if you have to but do check on them but give them time. 

4)    Getting them to say on their beds for their time outs, or designated spots can be tricky but you can always try.

5)    Be stern, you have to let them know you are serious and mean business.  They will walk all over you if you laugh or just let them get what ever they want.  If they are in time out for a reason, they need to know this. 

6)    I don’t really get into spanking it is although effective, it will make a child really know you mean business it can be avoided by just continuing to keep them in their time out zone.  I was spanked as a child a few times and looking back I can remember I deserved it…  But its your call, you’re the parent, just don’t pull the belt off or make them look like a blueberry when your done!  They are not an exit for anger...

7)    Visit and see how they are doing, if they seem calm explain why they are up there and talk to them.  Let them know if they are being bad again you will put them back no questions asked.

8)    When they are ready to come back down and join you and the group hug them.  Tell them you are going to go back down stairs and let them know its over.  Explain what they did wrong again and why it is bad. 

9)    If you are out tell them you will leave and give them one or maybe two warnings.

10)  If they do not stop, do not keep warning them.  Follow through, go home, or take a way a privilege.  I know it can be so hard but they need to know you will not be walked over.  If you say last time, that means LAST TIME.  How ever before you make a threat think, don’t make one you really do not want to carry out.  You don’t want to ground them from an event they really want to go to and you get mad in the heat of the moment.  If you do however, you must carry it out.  The minute you cave the minute you loose.

Sometimes you can talk to them and go back.  When I was growing up I can remember my parents telling me I was not allowed to go someplace because of how I acted.  Later that night we talked and I was allowed to go the next day.  It was a very special event and I am so glad they did change their mind.  So in the end it just takes getting used to this whole punishment thing.      

Now I would never tell a parent what is bad or now, those rules are up to the parent, all I can say is don’t let your child get a way with to much.  On the other hand don’t put them in time out for the small stuff as well.  You’re supposed to be the cool parent, or the executioner they fear…  Use good judgment please.  Remember this age is very critical; kids want to push you to the limit.  They will be short with you, and test what they can do.  Quinn has been sucking her thumb for a while now and I have been having her not do it as much, I won’t let her do it at all if we are out or if she is downstairs with friends and family over.  I also make her not do it when we are getting ready for bed. 

Kids do it for comfort but what they don’t know is that it can ruin their teeth and jaw bone.  Her dentist told us that she is bending her actual jaw bone so she will need braces when she is older.  I do however see her put her thumb by her mouth or try to do it under a blanket.  I will check her and she will give me a teenager response like “I’m not Dad!”  Although sometimes it’s funny to see how fast she grew up but I do often put the hammer down because it is in her best interest to not do it.  That is what parents are for.  I love being a good and fun Dad, but I am a single Dad so I have to be strict and protect her as well.  Sometimes I get upset when Quinn trys to play or order me around.  If her drink is out or if she needs something she will advise its out and look at me like I have to go get it.  I remind her to please ask, and always use good manners, please and thank you’s.  Manners are very important and if you grow up using them you will say them without even thinking.  I do not want Quinn to grow up thinking she gets what ever she wants.  You have to work hard in life and there are times yes parents and family will spoil her.  You have to understand the difference between a treat and everyday life.  I will blog about this later…

Always remember you were once little and now your children are growing up testing the waters like you once did.  Be patient and calm with them, if you show anger they will know this and the last thing you want is your child to be afraid or scared of you. 

As for Quinn, we made it through the weekend and had a few bad moments but using my knowledge and lesions I have learned we pushed though.  Next time your child gets out of control try some of these techniques…          

Monday, February 25, 2013

The weekend update

     This weekend started off great, I picked up Quinn and we headed to dinner with Hughey.  After we picked up some movies and just headed home.  Fridays we usually just keep it low key.  Saturday my Aunt came over and took us out to breakfast!  Aunt Ro hasn't seen Quinn in a long time so she was very excited!  We went to a small place down the road, small restaurants are always my favorite.  The staff was so nice and everyone is just like family even though we never met...  We spend the rest of the day just hanging out, the weather is still cold out but it is warming up and it's either really cold or warm and wet...  

     Sunday my parents came over for a visit, my Dad and I had to fix one of the water lines down stairs.    It never ends when you own a home!  My rents got to have fun and enjoy Quinn.  After Quinn, Hughey and I worked on a puzzle.  Hughey spent the night and hung out with us that afternoon.  That afternoon how ever Quinn was very well she just wasn't having it.  She was just being a 4 year old i guess...  I ended up bringer her home a little early just because she wanted to go.  Some weekends are better than others I guess.  Over all it was a good learning experience.  Every weekend is different and I guess thats what makes life so interesting.  

Enjoy the pics!
Always remember,
You are never alone...
Love,
Christopher    


Aunt Ro had gifts from her trip!




Here w are doing our puzzle!
Look at it! All done!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Is it ever going to warm up?

     Tonight when I picked up Quinn I asked my self if it was ever going to warm up!  It has been sitting around 15 to 20 degree's all week and it just won't warm up!  We got home and made some warm dinner and just took it easy.  The days are getting longer and I know spring is on its way but with a few weekends of being 60 degrees then it dropping to 10 I just think mother nature is messing with us.

     As the weekend approaches I can't wait, Saturday we have a lot of plans and I'm so excited to just have her for the weekend and spend some time with her.  It has been a long week and I just can't wait to have that Daddy Daughter time...

     Well I can't wait to share what we do this weekend!  I hope everyone is staying warm, unless you live down south then just go outside...

At Least you're not in Mongolia!

Or here...

Boiling Water turns to Snow Instantly...

Always remember
You are never alone.. You maybe freezing... But you're never alone..

Love,
Christopher

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The weekend update

     The past weekend I had Quinn was great.  Friday we just took it easy because we had a big day on saturday!  Hughey came over and we just watched a movie and had some snacks.  Saturday my parents came over to finnish up the bathroom.  We worked all morning and afternoon, I started to make dinner because uncle Kenny, Jake, Jenn and Dave were coming over.  I made stuffed shells and we had bread and Dave and Jenn brought dessert.  We had a great time and Quinn loved the company, later that night we just settled in as the cold surrounded the house.  We covered up and watched some TV.

     Sunday came and Quinn and I stayed in, we slept in and just relaxed.  It was so cold that weekend and Quinn and iI were just having so much fun just spending the day playing with her toys and just having time to hold Quinn.  The weekend yes wasn't exactly long but we did have so much fun.  Sometimes though I don't blog everything....

Always remember,
You are never alone...

Love,
Christopher

Hughey and Quinn


Here we are eating dinner.

Uncle Kenny and Quinn


   

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Because one Klondike wasn't enough...

     The boy scout Klondike was a complete success and now its time for the cub scout one!  Tom Rothfuss asked for some help on this one, he was helping run and organize it.  My Dad, Brother, Hughey, John and Mark (Tom Rothfusses boys) my self and Bill another friend all helped out.  

     The cub scout Klondike was a great time to show the youth how much fun scouting can be and what  to look forward to.  We had a lot of events and when we first arrived we started a fire because it was so cold that day!  John, Hughey, Bill, Mark and my self set up our events and just talked about the old days of scouting.  John, Hughey and I did a sled rescue event, and Bill and Mark had different animal calls and furs set up for kids to see.  As the morning started off and the kids came over, our sled rescue was setup and the kids had to get in the sled and pull them selves across the path.  The kids had so much fun.  Down the path my brother was doing branding and my Dad was cooking.  

     The day headed on and we had a lot of kids come through and the day was a success.  We had some lunch and then headed home.  Working with the cub scouts made me think back to when I was a cub scout and how much fun I had.  The youth of today will be our leaders tomorrow so it's our job to train them and make them aware of how important doing good is and doing good to others.  We will never make it until we realize how to work together and that we all can make a difference.  The scouts I worked with today will lead us when we are old.  They will make decisions for us and hopefully keep us safe when we are old...  

Enjoy the pics!

Always remember,
You are never alone...

Love,
Christopher




Here we are starting off!


The kids had a blast!

There's Kenny!


My Dad cooking.


Everyone was keeping warm, or trying to...


Here is John using our event!


I even gave it a try!

Friday, February 15, 2013

A very Special Wednesday

     What a special day we had on Wednesday.  Tuesday was my fathers birthday so on Wednesday we celebrated.  After I picked up Quinn we headed to my parents and had dinner with them and my brother.  We had a great time and dinner was excellent!  My Dad and Mom love when Quinn comes for dinner.  Quinn got my dad a cute dear she made for his birthday.  He loved it!  She sat on his lap for a cute birthday pic as well as helping him blow out his candles.  It was cute, she had so much fun.  After we cleaned up and My mom and I headed to church to get our ashes and my Dad and Brother had a scout meeting.

     Quinn my mom and I headed off to church.  Ash Wednesday is always one of my favorite services.  It reminds us all that we came from dust, and to dust we shall return.  This service starts Lent and the beginning of a big part of the year for the church.  Holy week will be in a few weeks and this is considered the kick off.  In the service we heard some great readings and Vicki our minister gave a wonderful homily.  I always loved this service because one of the readings was about not being so involved with things like your stuff, things that collect dust and rust and truly think about investing in your things in heaven.
     Now I don't push religion but I always feel that we should never worship anything on this planet that is just property.  Invest in your heart and spirit, live a good life and don't fight over small things like property or money.    My Dad always told us to be safe with our money and save, but always remember we can't take it with us so don't be cheap, spend it and have a great life.  Go on vacations, spoil your kids be happy.  I know we all work very hard and when a disaster strikes it is horrible, but always remember we as people come first.  If you and your family and friends are okay, the TV, computer, pictures or things can be replaced.  People put so much into their things and fight over stuff and even kill for it.  Some kids have been shot over their sneakers.  We just need to slow down and realize that when we die and turn to dust all that money, stuff even our property can't go with us...  Your spirit moves on, so invest in volunteering, being kind to your friends and family, do a good deed daily and be a better person for the world...

    Getting my ashes reminds me that the earth has provided me with a place to live and a good family and set of friends that love me, but it is also where I came from, we came from.
We came from Dust, and too Dust we shall return...

Never forget,
You are never alone...
Enjoy the pics!
Love,
Christopher

Popi and Quinn




Quinn helping blow out the candles

Quinn got a doll for Valentines day! 

Oma with Quinn




   

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Monday, February 11, 2013

Tuesday's Tip: Letting her know her own Room is okay part 2

     Last month I posted about how Quinn has not been wanting to stay in her own room and how she has been coming into my room to sleep.  I have to say the past month has been going very well.  She has been sleeping in her own bed in her room and even taking her naps there.  I have taken the time to explain to her how her room is hers and how she should feel special in it.  When she gets scared I go in and talk to her, and when the morning I do let her come in and lay next to me.  

     I found how ever the hardest part was just having to tell her that she just has to stay in bed and that was it.  It was hard she would ask if she could come in, or she would start to get sad but I told her she was safe and her bed was where she needed to sleep.  Being a single parent it is hard when you only see your child so much, when they get scared or sad it just breaks your heart...  

     Some tips to follow that I used that you may want to think about.  

        1) Explain to them how sleeping in their room is important and they need to do it.
        2) Work with them, let them come in maybe later in the night at first, or tell them if they spend the whole night tonight, later on in the week they can come in and sleep with you.
        3) Comfort them and make sure they are okay, remember we are adults but we were children to and it can be scary.  They are in a room by them selves and can get very scared easily.  
        4) Know that it is important to you to give them courage to do this because in life it will show them to be stronger.  That doing something that isn't easy and always the comforting way is the way out.  Also you need your sleep and sometimes having a child in the bed can disrupt that.

     They will grow up and they will not even wanna lay by us its just life.  So of course always let them from time to time.  Everyone has their own styles and everyone has their own tips so please always share!  I hope this post helps and always remember, they are our little special guys and gals.... Our special little angles...


Always remember,
You are never alone..
Love
Christopher 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Getting Ready for the Weekend...

     Thursdays can be one of the hardest days because of how close the weekend is.  I have Quinn tomorrow and all I have to do is get through the rest of the day and tonight.  I start planning what we will do, but honestly sometimes we just wing it and see where the weekend takes us.  It can be hard because I know a lot of people want to see her and I have only so much time with her.  This is why we as single parents always have to go with Quality, not Quantity.  We have to use each day with our little ones and make them last, take pictures and just have fun with them. 

     As the day gets closer to ending out I can't wait for tomorrow.  I can pick her up and start our relaxing weeknd.  We have been working on our bathroom and I can't wait to post about it!  We have a few more steps and it wil be complete!  Quinn and I have a few things to do this weekend but we will play it by ear.  At least when I look back the week is just almost over!  The only thing is, the first paycheck of the month is usually the one that goes to bills!  Then Sunday comes and I can't believe how fast it few by!  Monday morning I will be driving to work and starting the whole process over again.  The circle of the workweek life.  I hope to get on the hill before the snow melts and get some boarding in.  Once it warms up that opens up the day to going outside and just stretching from the winter months of hiding in doors.  Then again there is nothing wrong with just styaing in as the snow builds and you get a nice movie going with some freinds.

     Is everyone else getting ready for the weeknd?   I hope everyone has a great and save weekend and I will catch up with you when I give you the weekned update!

  Always remember,
You are never alone...

Love,
Christopher

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Tuesday's Tip: Remembering that you're never alone...

     A few weeks ago Quinn and I went to a birthday party at a bounce house.  If you didn't see that post Read It Here.  While I was there I saw all the kids playing and all the adults talking.  I noticed there were a lot of couples there, husbands and wives, or girlfriends with their boyfriends and all their kids as well.  It was difficult because this was one of the times that it was just Quinn and I and while she played I pretty much just took pictures, cheered her on or looked for a stone to kick around...  I talked to the mother of the birthday boy a little but that really was it.  For a short time while I was there among all the wedding bands, I couldn't help but feel alone...  

     Sometimes its hard to see all those working couples happy and getting along.  As a single parent I love my time with Quinn and have learned to be productive while I do not have her.  There are sometimes it can get sad, mainly when I am around many couples.  Do I miss my ring?  Sometimes, I miss the company and the working together part.  As I walked around at first I felt I was the only single dad there, but as time moved on I realized I wasn't alone.  I had my little one, when the event was over we walked out and even though I know she will grow up and move on for now I'm her Daddy...  I think that some days my day is sad or lonely and that it's just to hard to even want to get out of bed.  I then remember there are parents that buried their kids and would give anything for a day with them.  Others that don't know their kids or their child moved away.   Sometimes I have to realize that seeing Quinn just under half the month is still more than others, and that is a gift...

     When I tell you at the end of every post to always remember you are never alone, I tell you this because you aren't.  There are difficult times, there are times that make you remember when you were with that someone but you always have to keep pushing, fighting loving...

Call a friend, family member but always, always, always..... remember...  You are never alone....

Love,
Christopher

Monday, February 4, 2013

It's Klondike time again.

     It's that time again!  The Annual Boy Scout Klondike.  Every year the troops come together and do different events, activities and have just a great weekend.  I have been running the speed ball event since I have been in High School.  It has been so amazing to come year after year and see the same kids grow up and come back.  I always love see new faces and its great to see the Klondike is going so strong.

     This year was extra special because we did a special dedication to the Veterans of our country.  We had Veterans from all different services and all different times.  There were some from WW2, the  Vietnam War, and the Afghanistan/Iraq Wars.  My buddy Hughey served two tours in Iraq so this was extra special.  When we arrived it was good to say hello to some of the Veterans I knew from church and just around.  My godfather Uncle Jim served with my father on the same Sub so it was good to see him.  All the scouts lined up by the cabin and the Vets all came out as the scouts saluted them.  As the Vets walked out the circled up around the flagpole and we had our opening ceremony.  After we had the flags raised my father talked to the troops about the Vets here today and Vets that couldn't be because the were to far, or because they gave their lives for us.  My Dad did such a great job of just talking about what they do for us, and that if you don't like the war going on you should still always give thanks to the Veterans.  He explain back when he was in Vietnam Vets weren't treated like they are now and that the community has been so wonderful and respectful to our Vets.  My father had some flags to be retired and had the Vets take a piece and put it in the fire.  My dad introduced each Vet and they got to say some nice words as they retired the flags.  My Dad also got to put a piece in.  After we took some pictures and started our events.

     Hughey and I worked the Speed Ball event and had a blast again.  Hughey has been working the Klondike with me now for a few years so its always fun to have him sit and joke with the kids.  The day was nice, it was in 40's and the Sun was out.  The kids had a great day, we had a lot of patrols come through and we had some great speeds.  Some of the young kids threw the ball over 50 mph!  We headed in for some lunch and had my Dad's famous chili.  We got to take a break and catch up with some of the other staff members.  The second half of the day was slower and as they ended we were out of snow!  We didn't have a sled race this year so we did a Tug of War!  The troops went against each other until there was just two, my old troop and another troop that had some big guys on it.  As they started I cheered and cheered for our troop and when the won it was exciting, I lost my voice, but it was worth it...

     I got to give out the trophies to the boys who threw the records and got to just tell the kids how it its been such a great many years doing the Klondike.  The past several years has been just amazing, I look back and can't believe I have been working it for about 15 years.  We packed up and headed home, everyone was tired and ready to relax.  When the day was all said and done I sat down and just remembered some of my favorite memories and some of the kids that came and are now grown by now.  I always loved the Klondike because as I got older I stepped down form scouting events but have always worked the Klondike.  It was a great year and with the Vets there the day was very special.  Always remember what our Veterans have given for us...

Enjoy the pics!

Always remember you are never alone...
Love,
Ken and I.

The Vets walk out.


Opening ceremony

Our amazing Veterans.


Getting ready for the ceremony  




Hughey retiring a part of the flag.

My Uncle Jim

Brian from out church was there with us.





Two Vets from our church that were in WW2.  John and Max.  They retired a large part of our flag and said some nice words.
John was in the battle of the budge.  A big turning point for the Americans.



Mary Lou threw a piece in for her late husband, a Vet.

Here are our great Veterans.  

Hughey and I at our station.  We actually did work hard...

Our annual picture, with my Dad and Brother.

My brother did the branding station again.  He has always been wonderful at it.

Hughey, myself, my Dad and Brother.

We started the tug of war!


Pull, Pull, Pull!

The closing ceremony.

     I had a great time with my fellow scouters and Vets, and just want to remind everyone that working with the past that has protected us, and the future that will be there for us is a very special and amazing thing.  I will always feel the boy scouts are a good organization and hope that the politics of the group stay where they belong.  I'm very proud to be and Eagle Scout and feel the organization will be here for a long time...