"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Tuesday's Tip: Working on Sharing... Part....

     Over the past few year's I have worked hard on looking into ways to help kids share.  To give tips and help parents when I comes to their kids not being greedy.  Our society is so driven by our things now a days its sad that people still fight and steel over belongings.  I have looked up and visited many great blogs about how to practice good sharing.  I think one thing with Quinn is she is an only child so right now she doesn't have to share.  Before school and growing up all her toys were hers.  When she got to school she realized she needed to start sharing.  I didn't put a number after the part on the blog post because I think I have posted about this many times.

     I have talked to Quinn about this many times.  I told her she gets some TV time, then she has to let others watch a show.  Then we also turn it off for homework or just time to play and not have it on.  The issue I have sometimes is she gets so upset when I turn it off or change the channel.  I feel she things from the time she arrives to the time she leaves she gets her shows.  She also plays with her toys and still wants it on.  We tell her she can do one or the other but not both.  With Quinn like Kay told me she get something in her head like the TV and its hard to talk to her.  We tell her its time for the TV to be off or someone else's show to be on and she get so upset and won't think about listening to us.

     I explained to Quinn this weekend that when I was growing up, at 6pm every day my Dad watched the news.  No matter what it was his hour.  He was nice about it but we had to give him time.  He worked all day and wanted to catch up on what was going on locally and around the world.  As I grew up I couldn't believe how much I started watching the news more and more.  Now Quinn gets upset because I do and she can't see her show.  Some part is because when I get her sometimes I have to make dinner if its just us so I put on the TV so she can have that while I cook.  This I am trying to get out of.

     She is older now to so she can color or draw, play with toys.  There are many things she can do so cutting back on TV is something we have been doing a while now.  As far as sharing well she still gets upset and then asks when my show is done, or if after we can watch hers again.  It takes time but you have to keep letting them know not to ask and just wait.  Keep reminding them and they will get it.  Here are some tips below, I think will help!

    I have some tips we are working on with her and would love some more if you have any!

1)  First you have to start young.  Even with only one child instill sharing!  Show them they get time with a TV or toys then they need to share.

2)  Have play dates with other kids so they can interact with other toys or have to share their toys with a friend.

3)  Give them a warning when the TV will go off.  Let them know after the show or in 10 minutes. 
This gives them an understanding that it will go off and the timeline is getting smaller.

4)   Share your things, for example let them know when you are watching TV that you will share now and let them watch.  I don't know what else you can share unless you have toys you play with their age...

5)   If you are in a divorced or single parent atmosphere then you try to work with your ex.  If you're like me, you probably don't even want to speak with them but try.  If they get defensive or just don't seem to care then do your best as a parent to keep instilling sharing with your child.

6)  When they are at your place let them know early there will be sharing and work out a schedule. 

7)   If the weather is nice out, keep them busy!  Turn the TV off but give them something to do.  Go outside.  Now in NY its cold and snowing but go sledding!  Play in the snow!  It can be hard when its cold and wet, nobody wants to be out in that.

8)  If you see them not sharing toys with friends keep reminding them sharing is a part of life and to watch them from a distance. 

9)  If another child is not sharing and your child feels upset.  Encourage them to let it go.  Explain to them to be a big boy/girl and that you are proud they are trying to share and if other kids don't move on.  I know it seems like an adult conversation but you can do it with a child.

10)  Show them signs of excitement later if they do a good job and share.  If you see them sharing and playing well with others without fighting or getting greedy keep it quiet.  Then tell them they did a great job later in private!  Show them you are proud of them, this will go such a long way.

     Remember kids want to impress us!  If we tell them how proud we are for something they will feel it and feel great about what they did.  Sharing takes time, even adults can be greedy.  We even argue with our loved ones over the TV!  When it comes to TV anyway kids shouldn't be watching much.  it also is a treat, keep them busy with crafts or puzzles, things that keep their mind growing and working.  Kids want to watch TV and they get mad when they can't.  It happens, but if we start young then we are just that further ahead. 

Always Remember,
You are never alone...


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