Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Tuesday's Tip: Struggeling with Pickup and Drop off's.
I can remember the first time I picked up Quinn and dropped her off back home after our divorce and when I moved out. Five long years have passed and so many since then. I have had good pick ups and bad ones. I have driven to her Moms house for pick ups and drop offs every time and it does get tiring after awhile. Some days it gets hard when I wait in my car which just feels like time drags by and as the so fast weekend comes and goes bringing her home is just as hard has she now doesn't want to go. We reissue her she will be back soon and to have a great rest of the week. Going back and fourth for a child is hard and I can't imagine how strong they must be to do it. I know Quinn however is so strong.
Here are some tips I have learned through my years for any parent that has to pick up or drop off their kids and how to help.
1) Remember most importantly why you are doing this. To see your child...
2) Take your time and on the drive relax and breath. It can be stressful because you are driving to a place you probably don't want to go. Take the time to reflect and how excited you can be to see your little one.
3) While you are waiting just have some music on or rest. They may not come out right away. If you feel its been a very long time ring the bell again, maybe they didn't hear you.
4) If you feel your ex is taking advantage of you or making you be in a bad spot talk to them, or seek legal action.
5) Don't put the child in the middle and fight when they come. I know you might be mad about something if they want to talk about something that might get heated remind them they need to talk outside of the child ears.
6) When you drop them off hug and kiss them and tell them you had a great time! Tell them you will all have so much fun next time and always let them go on a good note! Don't let them leave upset or crying, you will only feel it 10 fold when you get home. I have and its horrible.
7) I know staying positive is hard but try your hardest. Think about the fun things you can do while you wait and just how special and important they are to you.
8) Be courteous and say hi to everyone show you are working together and the child is not impacted.
9) Don't let the stress of work or life build on the way over. I know the drive might suck and you feel all you do is drive back and fouth and your ex does nothing but come out, which might be true but who cares. When I drop off and pick up Quinn I tell my self it sucks driving but at least my ex doesn't do it and see my nice home. I don't want my ex near my home you don't have to have your snoopy ex looking around. This will keep you positive and in control.
10) Most important never blame it on your child. Never get made you have do all this and make your child feel horrible or to blame. They are probably excited to come out and see you so make sure they feel welcome and loved...
I hope these tips help. I know it sucks doing a lot of the driving I am there myself but stay strong and do your best to take a breath and remember this is all for love. The love of your little ones (s).
You are never alone...