"Make sure that what you are doing and striving for is going to be worth any sacrifices you will have to make along the way. If it's a relationship, job, anything in life."

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Tuesday's Tip: Coping with periods,when you don't have your kids...

     The Tuesday after a weekend without Quinn is one of the hardest days I sometimes have.  We see Quinn every other weekend and every Wednesday so after the Wednesday after our weekend its a full week before we see her again.  Over the past few years I have learned how to deal this this time.  Sometimes it comes up harder than others but nobody knows what its like but single parents that have vitiation so to you I say be strong because you are so special.

     Many parents that are together will never know the pain of having to go a day or a few days without seeing their parents.  Some separated have their kids still more than one parent.  In the beginning it was so difficult I felt I was going stir crazy and I probably was going crazy.  I have posted so many times how to keep busy and only if I had the help back then.  This is why I hope I can get my message across to newly single parents and help them so they don't have to go through what I did.  I have talked about reaching out to family and friends or even getting a hobby which always is the best keeping busy.  However even with being married again and lots to do I still feel a bit of emptiness when that long week goes by.  I know it makes me stronger and any parent that is in this situation is too.  I have tired to look into getting more time but it ends up going back to just having the child get older and letting them decide,  After an agreement is signed its so hard to go and re-look. Just once it would be nice for Quinn's Mom to have my schedule and see what it is like.  Honestly she would never make it.  She just isn't strong enough, and to controlling.  Which is why parents like myself are going to be so much stronger when our children grow up and go away.  If they decide to go to college or move far away.  We will be strong and encouraging where the parents that control will fail.  Children will grow up and rebel, the harder you try to stop them the harder they will rebel.  A love for a parent is deep but independence is very strong as well.  

     So know as you grow up with your child and they make decisions you will have the understanding where your ex who maybe more controlling will not.  I don't think my ex could make more than one week with out Quinn.  When we go on vacation for a week she deals, but has to and knows once its over she will have control again of Quinn.  Sad but true, for parents who do this nothing I can say, parents who deal with this like me, I am sorry.  For my post today I don't have a list of tips so what I will say is just this, be strong, as strong as you can and don't let any weakness show.  Unless to a spouse you are with who will support you and care for you.  As you grow older and your child does know the hard times you went through are over and if you child moves in with you or moves away when they are older you will be strong and understand what they want and need.  You ex may or may not and they may find them selves going though a pain you did long ago.  

     Be strong my fellow single parents as the days go before you see your kids and do the best you can to show love and composure.  You just need to be there and be strong for you kids, show them love and guidance.  The rest will come...  For more tips see some of my previous post or check out my tabs on parenting as well as the tab on getting through a breakup with a child.  For any parent who has your child and doesn't share as much as you should, well there is nothing to tell you because you don't feel you are doing anything wrong but if your child moves on you may not be ready, just to keep that in mind...

Just remember when this is over you will be stronger and understand more.  Keep busy on the long days or weeks you don't see your child my fellow Dad's and Moms.  Your child will always love you,

Its Not the Quantity but the Quality that Counts...

Always Remember,
You Are Never Alone...


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